Feeling Strange to Yourself post Covid19?

Mohammad Jazim Malik
3 min readNov 2, 2020

What is Depersonalization Disorder and how is it affecting us post COVID19?”

For employers and employees alike, Depersonalization Disorder, or DPD, is somewhat mysterious and difficult to define. And yet, some researchers consider it to be the third most common mental disorder, after depression and anxiety. Several research studies indicate that more than half of corporate employees post COVID19 have experienced elements of depersonalization at one time or another because of the constant pressure of Job loss or Revocation in Yearly Bonuses which one had planned for the rest of this year.

Depersonalization may have happened when you first wake up, or while staying at home for almost 3 months. You may link it to acute trauma or years of chronic stress which piled up because of this lockdown, or to nothing at all.

India, as a nation has seen 4-series iterations for lockdown with respect to containing Covid19 from community spreading. So here are some first signs which are often felt:

Mental break. Suddenly, inexplicably, something changes — common objects and familiar situations seem strange or foreign, as if you’ve found yourself in an unfamiliar world, the world which belongs to wild. And at the same time you feel unreal or “not yourself.”

Feeling panic. We often feel it as if one is going mad. Many reports suggested that a feeling panic-stricken, trapped inside oneself, or thrown into an unfamiliar world they can’t escape.

Lack of emotion. Feeling inhuman, like a robot or a rock. One experiences a loss of spirit, an absence of emotions, and no mood changes.

Feeling detached. Feeling distant from others and themselves. Many describe the feeling of watching themselves, as if from above. Once-familiar objects seem strange.

Fixation/obsession. Repeatedly check their sanity. As sometimes fixate on the strangeness or foreignness of a single thought or object.

Abstract ruminating. Often dwelling on the ideas of eternity and infinity. They think over and over about the nature of existence or the void and the dark mysteries of life.

Lifestyle changes. We sometimes are afraid to leave our houses or engage in activities that might trigger panic attacks. Like, stop talking to others, watching TV, or even going to doctors.

You may close your eyes and turn inward, but the very thoughts running through your head seem different. Many of us feel as if they have no self that formerly enabled them to deal with the world around them, and with their inner world.

World to Soul! Effecting in and out.

Acting “as if.” People suffer from not feeling that they are acting, but instead they have a strange feeling of “as-if acting.” Feeling that they imitate moods and expressions as if trying to act normal around others. But they continue to feel like outsiders who aren’t part of ordinary life.

Like many psychopathological signs, depersonalization can linger for years, go away, and then return. Some people with depersonalization sometimes suffer devastating consequences in their personal and professional lives, while others can continue to function fairly well while they seek treatment.

If you think you may have got one of this, it is crucial to seek out an introspection of you feel attuned to, Clearly, Covid19 has got us all over this. Mental freedom and Breakdown should be as common as ROI and Personal Pressure.

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